As much as I hate to admit it, I am a full-fledged worry wart. I worry about not making deadlines, I worry about not making every result perfect, I worry about disappointing authority figures; heck, I have even caught myself staring up at the ceiling at night fretting about fretting itself. And while the neurotic musings that bounce and tumble about in my brain never do quite make it out of my cranium and into reality, they do not present themselves without purpose. Rather it seems as if my habitual nervousness is the fuel that I thrive off of, the energy from which I derive pro-activity. Being nervous motivates me to DO, because only once I make things happen and happen well does this worry leave me; it is a moral compass of sorts, and I am grateful for my nerves in this way. So, when familiar Worry came knocking at the doors of my consciousness today– as my trip to Costa Rica is just three days away– I immediately knew two things with utmost certainty:
It was time to start packing, and
I needed to listen to Frank and Dino right away
Okay, so that second realization may have been slightly unexpected, but please do allow me to elaborate.
Besides reading really great books and walking my lovely dog, Lucky, one of my absolute favorite things to do is to parade around the house performing ear-shattering renditions of songs by my two most beloved artists, Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin. I simply adore them; their undeniable charisma, charming senses of humor and boundless talent have become so familiar to me now through watching and listening to their performances over and over that they bring me a strong sense of comfort, no matter how unsettled I may feel.
Once when my mother was out of town and I missed her terribly, one medley by Frank and Dean came to mind and comforted me right away:
“Love is just around the corner, every cozy little corner, love is just around the corner when I’m around you…”
The lighthearted lyrics and playful banter which I have memorized by heart seem to dissolve the impending gravity of most any situation; like a teddy bear, they are familiar and hold sentiments of contentment for me.
I have never traveled outside of the country, let alone all by myself, so there is no doubt that comfort is the very thing I will need as I embark on July 6. Therefore, along with the t-shirts, sandals, sunscreen, and toiletries that comprise the most basic traveling selection, I will also be packing with me the Youtube videos of Frank and Dean’s medleys that I cherish so dearly in times of worry (Since internet connection is not so guaranteed during my trip, I can thankfully still access the clips offline through Youtube Red).
Knowing that I have this source of comfort joining me on my travels encourages me to leave behind any fears of loneliness or uncertainty. I know that I will be surrounded by kind, wonderful, caring people during my trip, and I am so thankful for that.
So, yes, I am a worry wart, and I realize that for me to expect myself to leave that fact behind during these ten amazing days ahead of me is very unrealistic. I will probably worry from time to time, but efficiently so–in the way that I always do that propels me toward my goals. I leave for Costa Rica in just 3 days, and with the dependable comforts of Frank and Dino with me, I am positively ecstatic.